One Social Taboo that Needs to Die

I think it's wrong that everyone is so uptight about pooping and peeing. Everyone does it, why do we have to use euphemisms and speak clandestinely about our bodily functions. We could all benefit from candid discussions about what happens when you take a dump or a leak. It would be good for our psyches and could have very real health benefits.

Reasons why untabooing poop and pee are good for the psyche:

Remove the stigma of them as disgusting-
If food being converted into a gooey substance and passing through mucous covered tubes to be pushed out the body by a series of sphincters is sick and wrong then I don't want to know what's right. You are a poop factory. Accept it. It may not smell good or look good or taste good (at least I assume it doesn't), but it's a necessary part of who you are.

Remove psychologically damaging euphemisms-
It is considered proper not to mention human waste disposal in polite conversation. This crazy social notion has spawned a million euphemisms that I find much more vulgar than saying, "I have to urinate and or defecate".

  • Drain the main vein
  • Siphon the python
  • Hug porcelain
  • Point Percy at the porcelain
  • Cook a butt burrito
  • Lay a cable

I'm sure you can think of many more, but why? I mean, what the crap for? Who needs a bunch of pissy euphemisms?

Untabooing will help us embrace nature, thus embracing our true self:

Nature does not abhor poop. Just look at our fellow primates, they love to play with their poop. They throw it and build complex 3D models with it. They are not horrified at the mere site of feces. Human toddlers are similar. They sit in it and smear it on walls and stuff. Being scared of poop is unnatural and wrong, like high fructose corn syrup and Jocelyn Wildenstein's face. When we can admit that it is natural we can begin to heal. Mankind will be free from the self-imposed shackles of scatalogical terror that have bound us for so long.

There are practical benefits to accepting poop and pee.

We can make Humanure-
By mixing our urine and feces via composting, we can create a fertilizer for agricultural purposes. Be green! Recycle! Poop can help!

We can learn how to poop correctly-
There is some controversy about how humans should poop. In the western world, we poop sitting. In some other countries (and in former eras in the west), mankind pooped or poops by squatting.

Squatting Bowel Movement

Many doctors believe squatting to be the natural and correct way to defecate. They suggest that increased cases of hemorrhoids and colon problems are due to sitting on a toilet. Toilet sitting is also linked to obesity, as many people sit on the toilet for way too long instead of chasing antelope. Some of you may be thinking that you really don't want to install a squat toilet in your house. Good news for you! You don't have to! America has some of the best scientists in northern North America. You can purchase one of these.

Nature's platform


If you don't like that either you can try this genius pooping posture. If you're a hippy, you can use a yoga block.

Bowel Movement

January 2009