Illegal Immigration

As you may know, immigration has become somewhat of a controversial issue. It seems that some honest American citizens are upset about the “Mexicans” or “Puerto Ricans” or “Welsh people”. I know these people are causing a lot of problems. Apparently, some of these people who come to America coerce honest Americans to make fake IDs and force employers to hire them for amazingly low wages and not report any of it to the government. I know that no right-minded American would create a fake ID for profit. I know that every employer in America is delighted to pay every employee a fair wage, provide them with health care and pay their fair share of taxes. These horrible illegal immigrants are making our employers exploit cheap human labor for their own profit and forcing people to counterfeit federal papers. We definitely need to build a wall around Mexico, Puerto Rico and Welshia to stop these awful people from coming into our country and using their mind control on our otherwise infallible citizens.

Not only are they using mind control to corrupt people, but they don’t speak English so good. Where I live is loaded with Welsh people and it’s like no one speaks English anymore. I went to the grocery store to get some butter. What a fiasco! I walked in and said, “Where’s the butter?” The man at the counter just stared at me and said, “Twpsyn! Mochyn brwnt!” Unbelievable! First, those darn Welshes steal all the good jobs and then make it impossible for real people to do things. If they want everything to be bilingual in English and Welsh they should go back to Wales. America will be bilingual over my dead body.

And another thing, why do these people feel the need to hang on to their own cultures? Cinco de Maio? I think you mean the 4 th of July, pancho. Enough with the piñatas. In America we throw candy at children during parades. Listen up Welshes, one more Eisteddfod out of you and I’m going to go ballistic. Here we share cultural arts at the county fair-that’s where the real talent is. And stop flying your Welsh flags on St. David’s Day, the only flag I recognize is the red white and blue! Why can’t you just embrace American Culture? America has a rich 200 year history with traditions that vary from being materialistic to being overweight.

One thing is for sure. We should be really angry with the immigrants and not with anyone else. We can’t blame employers for being duped into illegal activities. We also can’t be mad at the government for being forced to benefit from the economic boost that is attained by illegal labor. The fault lies with no one but those conniving, mind controlling, non-English speaking immigrants.


Now for something in real life. This flyer was made by the Boise State University College Republicans. I realize they were trying to be funny. Instead they were just offensive. They should stick to being Republicans and leave the comedy to me-I'm hilarious.

March 2007