As shown in the illistration above, there are a lot of things in everyday life that make it so we don't ever get around to opera. It seems like everyone knows opera exists, but they just don't care. They're too busy with their elbows and Panda skin coats.

I want to help you understand that your reasons for not investing time in this noble art form are stupid.

Reasons you may not be into Opera

-Those singers sound awful, they're so warbly, loud and annoying.

If you had seen a Wagner Opera, I would have to agree with you. Wagnerian singing is an acquired taste that's difficult to acquire. However, in a normal opera, singers sound the way they do because they must be heard over an orchestra without microphones. The sound their voices make is what God intended them to sound like, not what some weirdo with an auto tuner makes them sound like. You eventually get used to it and just like any other style of music, there will be some singers you just don't like.

-Opera plots make no sense

Have you ever watched a Transformers movie? Those plots don't make sense either, but you watched them because of the cool special effects. That's how opera works except instead of robots and exploding you have singers and an orchestra (sometimes they explode too). That may sound boring still, but keep in mind that an increasing number of operas are now staged with nudity included.

-Opera singers are fat!

Anna Netrebko Katherine Jenkins

Put away the stereotype of the fat opera singer. Opera producers have noticed how shallow you are and have begun casting people who are not hideous.

Anna Netrebko and Katherine Jenkins are not hideous. I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed for singing loudly.




-Opera is about being better than everyone else, it's just a bunch of snobbery.

In some cases that may be true. There are people who only go to operas to appear cultured. Those people should be kicked in the back of the head by a walrus. Opera is really about art and stuff.

Here is a clip from the Colbert Report about how opera big wigs are trying make opera more mainstream.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nathan Gunn
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Some opera scenes for your enjoyment

In this scene from The Magic Flute, the Queen of the Night tells her daughter that she has to stab her father. She does this by singing notes that only dogs can hear.

The opening scene from one of Europe's earliest surviving operas, Monteverdi's L'Orfeo. It's groovey, old school!

October 2006