Diary of Franz Josef Haydn

Catastrophe Averted: Age 7

A few weeks ago Schoolmaster Franck told me they were going to castrate me. I didn't know what that meant. I asked some other boys at the school and they said it meant they were going to cut my balls off so I could sing really high when I am a man. I like singing high, but I also kind of like my balls. They also said if I got castrated everything would taste like gargoyle poop. I wrote a letter to my parents and they wrote to Schoolmaster Franck telling him not to castrate me. My dad said he wanted me to sire children. I don't know entirely know what that means either. I think it might be good to sire children, but I'd rather eat everyday and maybe, one day, see a lion.

May 2007